Friday, July 20, 2012

Billa Lang, Tequila.... and a little happy dance

Billa Lang is a card holding member of the Mafia of Clowns.  If there is such a thing.  If not, and I would mention it to him.... there is a good chance he would think it a good idea, start one, and then think of a way to make it profitable.  He is that kind of guy.
So he calls me late afternoon last Sunday.
"Where are you?" he shouts on the phone.
"I'm right here, " I honestly answer.
"Well, meet me there in ten minutes." And he hangs up.
What he means is Oblio's.  Oblio's is THERE.
What IT means is that he either had a GOOD day at an art show..... or a BAD day.  If it had been an OK day, he would have just gone home.

So I walk the few minutes THERE from HERE.  The place is empty, except for Sammy, the bartender, and she is kinda on the quiet side.  Billa walks in a few minutes later, looks at his watch and says, "You're early.  I said ten minutes and it is only 8 1/2!" He glances at Sammy and says, "A shot of Cuervo, 1880, Please."
"Lemon or Lime with that," She asks.
"Give him both, " I say.
Billa gives me an eye sneer and says, "I'm not that kinda guy.  Just a lime."

So, I'm thinking he didn't have a good day.  If it was a good day, he would have bought me one, too.
"Buy me a beer, " I say.  "I'm broke."
" Buy YOU a beer, " he says loudly. " you already owe me 137 and a half beers already!"
"How can I owe you half a beer?"
"I'll work on it!!!"
Now, see, Billa Lang does take nice photographs.... from his plane.  Aerial photography. "Best in Oshkosh." is what he says and I'm thinking the only aerial photographer in town. THEY ARE GOOD

.....So I ask him how sales were.
"Cheap goddam *&%G_**&!@"
" Not good, I take it"
"GOOD!  Huh....  a case of herpes would have been better! Two flat tires would have been better! NO NO NO.... a case of athletes foot ...ON BOTH FEET WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER!  Oh oh oh"
So he goes in the back and plays one of those electronic thingee gambling machines.  I never play them.  I have enough experience with losing than to deliberately throw money away.
Twenty minutes later he is dancing around and yelling, "yes yes yes"  He hit the machine for about $200.  His mood got better.  Bought me a beer.

"Hey, " he says.  "you haven't written much lately,"
"Can't think of much to say'" I say.
"Anything....write anything,  Write about going blind!"
I would have whacked him, but I would have missed.  Can't see well enough.  Could have just aimed for his laugh, which is, truly, hard to miss..... but that would have spoiled the fun....and that is the one thing that you get from Billa is just around the corner.... you just have to look for it.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

How I feel about the Republicash Candidate

boy and howdy... it sure is hot!  course, that ain't saying much of much that most of us don't know.

Me?  I don't know shit from shinola, but at least I will admit it.

Good old Mitt..... he thinks he does, though, and keeps sticky his very expensive shoes in his big fucking mouth.  I guess what went down is that he shows up at a fancy, expensive funding raising diner down in Jackson Mississippi  and.... get this..... points out to all the rich stuffed fucking shirts throwining him cash.... how Obama is not helping the POOR people  .... THEWAITERS AND WAITRESSES at the fancy fucky supper club hes is speaking at
“It’s tough being middle class in America right now,” Romney said. “The waiters and waitresses that come in and out of this room and offer us refreshments, they’re not having a good year. The people of the middle class of America are really struggling. And they’re struggling I think in a way because they’re surprised because when they voted for Barack Obama…he promised them that things were going to get a heck a lot of better. He promised hope and change and they’re still waiting.”

Wowsers.... you can read more about it HERE   AND HERE

AND...get this.... He took a $77000 tax deduction  on HIS WIFE'S FUCKING HORSE!  no shit... I am NOT making that up
Read more  HERE
yeah, well FUCK YOU MITT...AND the horse you rode in on...

seriously..... go read that stuff.  I am not making this up..... oh oh oh..... of course he is really really in touch with the middle class..... he can relate... he can relate so much that HE NEEDED A $77,000 tax deduction for his wife's FUCKING HORSE!  No shit... I am not making that up, either....

Damn.... I wish I could take a $7.77 deduction on my dead parakeet.  See, I had a lot money invested in that bird  and it was good therapy for me.

Yessirre, Bob..... it is hot today, I can hardly type... cause I can't see worth shit anymore.... and looking at a goddam computer screen with one eyes closed from two inches away gives me a goddam headache.  Ya, betcha, eh, I AM FEELING CRANKY.  And when I get cranky...I do Google searches like, 'Fuck Mitt Romney."  and oh, Wowsers... I find that there is already a site that says  which I am hearby adding to my blog roll.

ok... I am just a little upset today.

oh well.... maybe a little therapy will help


Monday, July 16, 2012

Let me know....

I found this in a old file .... I think it is sunrise.  Pretty sure it is over the lake.... cause it sure looks like water, see.  I think that is an oak tree.  I didn't ask.  Must have been some time ago because I sure don't remember getting up that early lately.  But I kind of like it.  Sorta.  Kinda.  I think that might be some kind of duck off to the far left.  Wouldn't know what kind.  I sure didn't ask.  If anyone knows what kind of duck or what the ducks name is...... let me know.  thanks.


Sunday, July 15, 2012

Once upon A story.......

It was a very hot season, that summer 23 years ago. Her brother, mother and I pretty much lived in the one air-conditioned bedroom we had.  Nine month pregnant women do not like heat much.  I cooked on the grill outside, or got oodles of carry-out.  It was that kind of season.  Hot, humid, uncomfortable, sticky.  The bathroom was only 80% remodeled.  The shower worked, but the linen cabinet I had ordered had not arrived.  I remember those things.  I remember the baby.... that we were waiting for.  I worried.

Little did I know of the girl who would grow up and go searching for the DaVinici code.
I had no way of knowing, then, how a man's life can change in so short a time.

The time was 2:50 am.  When her mother woke me.  I called Uncle Mike to come watch the boy. I threw the hospital bag in the car.  Her mother could not sit any longer.  I propped her up as best as possible in the rear seat... It was a Ford.  I remember.  And I zipped up the lake road as fast as I could the eight miles to Theda Clark Medical.  I remember that well,, but I could have no idea that I was traveling with the girl who would, beyond doubt.... prove the existence of the Loch Ness Monster.

"It is there!" she would cry out.... and the world would be astonished.

But that would happen much later.  What I remember was running into the hospital to find help to extricate her mother from the back of theat Ford.  I did succeed.  That I remember. and that her mother could not sit in the wheelchair that we somehow propped her up kneeling in the chair.  The orderly did not push the chair.  I did.  I remember.

I could not have known, then, that she would grow to possess fantastic diplomatic skills and travel to France and solve most of the pressing political questions of the day.
"Well, Dad, just those that really needed solving."

She would dawdle with small talk.  But I could not know that then.  What I remember is that I fretted that the Doctor would not be there, but that somehow he was in residence at that ungodly hour.  I remember he said, "It's a girl.  Cut the cord, Dad," and handed me a scissors.  It was 4:10am.  That I will never, ever forget.

Dear Girl....I wish, today, that I could offer you some wise words of wisdom, some pithy saying to whimiscally realte how much you have enriched my I think of you everyday.
But all I can come up with is

"Don't always look for happiness in the bottom of a pint glass.....but never neglect checking it out once in a while."AND....................... may not be a bowl of just look for the biggest one you can find!!!

Happy Birthday!!!!

Blog Archive